Adversity: Learn to live with it

For many people, life is gorgeous, while for people it seems to be a bitter pill because sorrows come and appear unexpectedly. Adversities are and are part of everyone's life, at times, so it is necessary to choose how we will face it to change how to face it.

All of us would like our lives to be full of beautiful and beautiful moments, of joy,… .. and that happens regularly and adversities are also painted in different spaces and on different canvases and that we tend to suffer curiously, in what we are most sensitive to.

Many times we collapse without remedy, without knowing why, without understanding the explanations. Sometimes, we are crushed by circumstances that most of us do not understand. And it's that PAIN never finds justification, and what involves the mind is that the word, injustice, and we think that we are NOT worthy of what happens to us in some negative moments.

Therefore, at some point, adversity can knock on our door. Sometimes when she does, she can be accommodated without us having invited her in and can become an annoying companion. It is about those stages in which everything seems to go wrong, in which we see everything gray and we do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, so we can get discouraged and even depressed.

ADVERSITIES are part of life, we are not exempt from them, we are not alien to SUFFERING, and many times, that suffering becomes a LEARNING channel, sometimes more direct than happiness itself, so accept, embrace, and overcoming what happens to us in adversity is vital for experience to help us.

Embracing reality, living it, assimilating it, suffering it, and internalizing it are keys to the SOLUTION. And it is that it is not enough to hear, you have to know how to LISTEN, it is not enough to see, you have to know how to LOOK, understand that there is always an afterlife and that this can be our greatest consolation in those moments when adversity appears.

Overcoming it is the next step and for this, we must have accepted what is coming to us. And it is that you can not overcome what is not accepted and even less if it is not assimilated. The best way to overcome pain is to cope with suffering. We all go through situations in life that cause us suffering and that we do not know how to deal with. No formula always works (OJALÁ !!!), but we must accept that suffering is part of life.

Although it is painful many times, even if we think that the world is coming upon us, it is important to keep in mind that everything in life happens for some reason, and surely we will be able to assume, to have the strength to tolerate, and to have the integrity to overcome and leave behind, joys and adversities, these, sometimes, two extremes of life ...

The difference between a person who knows how to overcome their problems and face adversity in life and a person who does not achieve that improvement is that the former is a person who DECIDES, who CHOOSES to be one thing or another, regardless of the conditions that he has to live. If the person can find a meaning to adversity, he can turn his tragedies into an achievement, into a form of overcoming.

3 "A" TO DEAL WITH ADVERSITY: Action, Attitude, Acceptance

Action, Attitude, and Acceptance are the 3 “A's” that we need to face adversity.

A. Our daily ACTIONS lead us to be the best version of ourselves, to show how extraordinary there is in each one and that others see and can appreciate it. When faced with a problem, the most common reaction is to get stuck, especially when it comes to an unexpected adverse situation. The emotional blow is so strong that it knocks us out. It is a normal reaction and it is not even negative since, in theory, it serves to give us the time we need to think about how best to approach the matter. We must remember that the emotional brain responds extraordinarily quickly but the rational brain works more slowly.

However, it is important to pay attention to what we do after that first impact. In many cases, we simply limit ourselves to lamenting our bad luck and complaining about what happened. In this way, we only manage to make the problem worse and further limit tunnel vision.

Instead, the smartest thing to do would be to assess what we can do to change circumstances and overcome adversity. To take a more rational perspective, these questions can serve as a guide focused on developing an action plan based on the level of control we have.

We all have a why or whom to live for, one or several reasons that allow us to move forward every day, that motivate us, and that give meaning to every second of our existence, to every. If we do not have the power to change the situation, we can always choose our ATTITUDE towards that situation. That is, there is always something inside us that we can change, how we feel, there is always a part of ourselves that depends only on us.

B. If we do not have the power to change the situation, we can always choose our ATTITUDE towards that situation. That is, there is always something inside us that we can change, how we feel, there is always a part of ourselves that depends only on us.

It does not matter that we do not expect anything from life, but rather if life expects something from us. Think about what we bring to life, what life expects from us because our life continually questions and demands of us. What we must ask ourselves is what we can do to change our lives, what we contribute to the world, and react accordingly

Everything bad in our life is something that exists and that we must accept. A tension is created between what has already been achieved and what remains to be achieved. We do not need to live without adversity, but to know that they will exist, that they are part of life, and that we must fight for something worthwhile, give meaning.

Catastrophic thought patterns, as well as focusing solely on all problems and negative consequences, is also very demoralizing and drains us of what little energy we might have. Of course, it is not about assuming a naive positive attitude, but we have to try to balance the scale, which usually tends to fall on the negative side.

C. ACCEPTING, perhaps the most difficult part in the face of adversity, is not easy to learn. Understand that denying a thing, a disease, a pain, adversity is not going to make it go away and that only by accepting can we do something important about it.

A very effective technique: radical acceptance, which is based on stopping suffering and taking an active role, and turning our negative thoughts into ideas of acceptance.

Accepting is not taking a passive attitude but learning not to deny what happened and its consequences, to deal with it in the best possible way. Accepting implies looking at life head-on, no matter how ugly it may seem, and deciding how to change the situation to the best of our abilities.

No one is indispensable, but we are all irreplaceable:

Discover the meaning of your life

The interest of any person is not to find pleasure or avoid pain, but to find the meaning of life. Even in the moments when we suffer, we must find meaning in that suffering.

No one can put themselves in our place and suffer for us, so your only chance is the attitude we adopt in the face of suffering. We all have a reason for being, but sometimes, we are not aware of that reason.

We all go through difficult times throughout our lives. However, although they sometimes seem impossible to us when we are immersed in them, sooner or later we usually overcome them to continue advancing.

The difficulties that we find ourselves in one or other moments of our lives can drown us in a sea of discomfort from which it will be very difficult for us to escape if we do not implement strategies. None of us are safe from the ups and downs that our existence can have at certain times. And it is in these moments of adversity that we go through very powerful emotions such as sadness, helplessness, frustration, etc ... producing in us an intense emotional imbalance.

Express our emotions

When adversity decides to hit us and we experience those powerful emotions, it is beneficial to express what we feel, or through writing, to become more and more aware and to be able to recognize it.

When we express our feelings either by speaking or writing, what we are doing is releasing them. If we put words to what or how we feel, it will be easier for us to accept the bad news that happens to us. Since what we do is associate our thoughts with feelings quickly and almost simultaneously.

Any adverse situation can be seen as an interruption in our life trajectory, but if we report it, we will be closer to the possibility of accepting it and moving forward. And after this, start our own problem-solving mechanism in which we will use our own resources to move forward and make way for the difficulty that is presented to us.

Also, faced with a difficult situation, there are times when it is difficult for us to accept that it affects us, refusing to acknowledge that it hurts us in a way. But this pain, in part, is necessary because it will help us to elaborate on everything that happened, in addition to being able to come to terms with the loss.

In these situations, the people around us may be able to try with the best of their intentions to make us feel good again as quickly as possible, which may have the opposite effect since they can cause us feelings of guilt for not responding as others expected. or even feel not understood. We all need our time of assimilation and elaboration, some longer than others, the important thing is to respect it, and not accelerate or postpone it, but maintain a certain balance. It is like going through a process of grief or loss, since it takes a necessary period of emotional adjustment, going through a series of stages.

And in time, after having overcome that difficult moment, we will be able to trust our ability to overcome new difficulties. Each test passed will strengthen us. And although difficulties or adversities show us our most vulnerable parts, overcoming them will help us move forward with more security and confidence.

Keys that help to come out stronger and as little affected as possible from moments of crisis:

1. Resilience: Resilience is the ability of the human being to face the adversities of life, overcome them, and be positively transformed by them. It is the method by which we will adapt within the absolute best thanks to adversity, a traumatic situation, a tragedy, a threat, or serious family or personal relation problems, serious health problems, or stressful work or financial situations. Thus, all of us can develop resilience in extreme situations. When we behave in a resilient way, it is not that we do not suffer and experience difficulties or anguish. Pain and sadness are something natural in people who have suffered great adversity or trauma in their lives.

2. See beyond the moment and the obvious: On many occasions, we cannot prevent negative circumstances from occurring that do not depend on us, but we can manage the way we react to them. It would be a matter of considering that the negative present will go away depending on how it came. Our behaviors guided by our values is what helps us to achieve them by what we want and not by avoiding negative feelings, emotions, or thoughts.

3. Passion for ideals and goals: We must have realistic goals about our values. Instead of focusing our efforts on very difficult goals, we can focus on the things that we are most likely to achieve today and that is closer to the direction in which we want to go.

4. Courage and self-confidence: We have to look for opportunities to discover ourselves. When we find ourselves in the position of fighting adversity, we are sure to learn something new about ourselves It has been shown that a big percentage of individuals who have experienced tragedies and difficult situations have improved within the management of their personal relationships have had a rise in personal strength even once they feel vulnerable, the sensation that their self-esteem has improved, a more developed spirituality, and a greater appreciation of life. Promoting a positive vision of oneself develops confidence in our ability to solve problems and trust in our abilities. You have to be brave and accept that change is part of life. It is about doing something that takes us out of our comfort zone.

If we put our energy into appreciating each positive detail that we DO enjoy, we will fill our days with enthusiasm, confidence, and the desire to keep walking. Focusing on the process, on the here and now of our adventure, squeezing and taking care of every detail will help make it much more likely that we will reach a successful conclusion and that this journey is really worth it.

And all these, five steps help us to be happy:

1) No

2) him

3) demos

4) more

5) turns

And sometimes, the BEST thing is to take a daring path: the solution.