How to avoid ending a relationship

All relationships have ups and downs. If you are in a relationship that is going in the wrong direction, you may be trying desperately to solve problems. To avoid an impending breakup, anticipate and address conflict to find a solution with your partner. Then, take the necessary steps to strengthen the bond. However, not all relationships are destined to be successful. Identify the reasons why you want to keep the relationship and evaluate if the breakup is the best decision in your case.

Solve the problems. 

1. Ask him for a time. 

• To avoid a breakup, get ahead of the problem. Talk to your partner and tell them that you feel the breakup is imminent and that you need time to fix things. Agree on a reasonable time.
• You can say something like, “I have a feeling you want to end me. I think we should take the time to do things right. Do you agree that we distance ourselves for a month? ”
• You can also use this time to do an examination of conscience and decide if it really is a good idea to continue the relationship.

2. Give yourself some space.

• After agreeing on a deadline to solve individual problems, take a few days for yourself. Reflect on the relationship issues and decide how you want to proceed.
• The opinion of a close friend or family member could help you decide how to move on.

3. Talk about what bothers you.

• Once you have had time alone, get together to use the conflict resolution strategies. Discuss what aspects of the relationship are not working and find a solution between the two.
• A good idea is for both of you to come up with a list of the main critics. To do this, define each problem in detail. Then think of some possible solutions separately for each topic listed. 
• Get back together and share your criticism. Then share your suggestions so you can both overcome the obstacles.
• For example, if your partner never alerts you when she is late for a meeting and this causes you concern, you can suggest that she set reminders on her cell phone so that she can notify you if she is late after a certain time.

4. Use affirmations in the first person.

• Many conflicts can be resolved by simply changing the way you speak. Sentences in the second person may sound accusatory, so your partner may be trying to defend himself. Instead, by using the phrases in the first person, you can express your feelings without your partner feeling that you are attacking them.
• An example of a first-person phrase might be “Marcos, I worry when you are late. I would feel much better if you could call me to know that you are fine. ”

5. Come to an agreement

• In most cases, you and your partner will be able to find at least one topic on which they agree. Use it as a reference point to resolve conflicts. Find the matching points that allow them to meet the needs of both of you.
• What do you both want and what changes can you make to achieve it?
• Continuing with the previous example, perhaps your partner is very entertained with her friends and does not remember to call you. Send him a short message to ask him if he's okay. This solution can be useful for both of you.

6. Begin couples therapy.

• In the event that you do not have the communication skills and the ability to resolve conflicts to address the couple's problems, consider the option of making an appointment with a therapist. 
• Talking about your problems with a trained professional will allow them to learn effective strategies for dealing with conflict.
• In fact, they may find that their problems cannot be solved or that they are not compatible as a couple. This could be the confirmation you need to make the decision to end the relationship.

7. Don't beg him.

• If you think your partner wants to break up with you, you can take some steps to save the relationship. However, pleading with her is not the way; the only thing that you will achieve will be to damage your self-esteem. Also, if all you can do for the partner is beg, your partner may notice and quickly reconsider the idea of breaking up with you.

Strengthen the bond

1. Remember the reasons why you fell in love.

• Compliments, gifts, or small gestures of love and gratitude can make a big difference in relieving the relationship. Focus on being united by paying attention to the little things that you did at the beginning of the relationship, but that for some reason stopped doing it over time.
• For example, if you once gave him a foot massage after a long day at work, try to resume this habit again. If you notice that you don't usually thank him for the things he does for you, start to show a little more gratitude.

2. Be an open person about your needs.

• Sometimes problems arise when people feel that their expectations are not being met. Communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship and is the basis for everyone to express their wants and needs.
• Every day, share a moment to talk about important and not-so-important topics. This way, they can share their deepest thoughts more easily.
• Mention your needs without rationalizing them too much. Try saying "I need to know you really care" or "I need security." If you wish, you can also ask for more specific things, such as: "I would like you to tell me that you love me a few times a week."
• Don't expect your partner to be able to read your mind or automatically discover how to meet your needs. Therefore, try to clearly express to him what are the things he can do to meet your expectations or needs.

3. Practice active listening.

• All people need to be heard in a relationship. Therefore, it is important that you strive to be a better listener. When they talk about important issues related to the couple, act as if you are in an important meeting (since it is!). Silence your cell phone, turn off the television, and make sure you give it your full attention.
• While I'm talking to you, try to listen to the whole message. Before responding and expressing your thoughts, ask questions to clarify and summarize your words to make sure you understand the message.

4. Set aside time for romance and displays of affection.

• With the passage of time, the flame of love may grow and fade. Therefore, couples should strive to keep love alive by sharing intimate moments. To do this, they can have a date night once a week, talk lovingly on the phone every night before going to sleep, or kiss each day before going to work or college.

5. Satisfy your own needs.

• Also, it is very important to enjoy a moment of solitude to satisfy your individual needs.
• Occasionally, be sure to take some time alone so that neither of you abandons the rest of your activities and hobbies for the couple. 
• Do not abandon your interests, continue sharing moments with your friends and family, and take care of your health and well-being.

Accept when it's time to end the relationship

1. Evaluate your reasons for continuing the relationship.

• Have you thought about why you want to prevent your partner from breaking up with you? Take a good time to reflect on your motives. Ask yourself what your intentions are to preserve the relationship. Evaluate whether these reasons are beneficial to both of you or whether it is simply a selfish act on your part.
• For example, you may want to keep the relationship just because you are afraid of being single or because you don't want to feel that you have been rejected or abandoned.

2. Do not accept any abusive situation.

• Never tolerate abusive behavior. In a situation of physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse, the best solution for you will be the breakup. While it can be scary to break up with someone abusive, keep in mind that many people do this on a daily basis. 
• Reach out to your friends, family, or seek resources in your community to gain the security necessary to get out of an abusive relationship.

3. Be careful with codependency problems.

• If your partner is an addict or a person with unhealthy behavior patterns, you may feel responsible for her and find it more difficult to end the relationship. Being codependent means that much of your self-esteem is linked to caring for and supporting your partner. However, it is important for you to know that this type of relationship is not healthy.
• Learn to recognize the signs of codependency. Then, go to an individual appointment with a therapist to learn how to break the ties that bind you to this toxic relationship.

4. End the cycle of rupture and reconciliations once and for all.

• Some couples often repeat the circle of ending the relationship and reconciling again and again.        This is another pattern of unhealthy relationships. If you or your partner have good reasons to end the relationship, no longer delay the decision. As difficult as it is, makes the decision to end the relationship forever. 
• Open your eyes and end this cycle forever. Do not think too much or minimize the fact that you are not happy.
• Strive to improve other aspects of your life so you don't end up getting closer to your partner again. Rebuild relationships with old friends, find a passion, or set a new goal that allows you to have a full life without your partner.
• Consider starting an individual therapy to assess your fear of ending the relationship or being alone.